No place I'd rather be

I want to talk to him still ... Three months after my heart was breaking all over my couch and the gore was every where I still want to look into his eyes. I don't know what I would see. Could I do better? Am I further along in my journey? Were we going at different paces or had he not desire to go where I was going? 

I miss my guitar.
I miss my family.
I miss my friends.
I miss my car.
I miss familiar.

So do I miss him because he is the familiar? I don't want that. He was so good to me, but good enough to hit a rough patch and RUN. Pop says, "Do you want to be with someone that hurt you like that?" Forgiveness is available, but is it desired?

I find myself drawing a line in the sand.
I can find someone else maybe.
I know that I can love someone else.

My ornery white knuckled grip on our dead relationship is more like an open palm now. I cherish it. I cherish him, but you can't limit yourself to someone that "saw the awesome that was you and said 'no thanks I think I will try my luck elsewhere"'(It's called a Break-Up Because It's Broken)

He never promised me anything really. He promised me that he would be good to me, but he also promised me that he had no clue what he wanted. He seemed more and more unsure as time went on. I almost feel as if he were a promise himself from the Promise Keeper. "You can have this. It's possible. Don't put up with a boy looking at you that way ever again. You should be looked at like this, treated like this."


I now hear love songs being sung to me by the One who says "Yeah, I knew that about you when we started this, but I told you I was in this for the long haul"
..Being confident in this, that He that began a good work in you will carry it on to completion to the day of Christ. Phil 1:6