New Year's Day

Birthdays are special to me. It's mine today. I'm tired, but this is monumental and must be recorded.

Twenty something is a good age. I am changing and growing so much. So much exposure to better and fuller. It is really making me grateful. It is making me better and not happier, but something greater than happier.

Last year on this day : I was beginning a beautiful relationship.
I was in school. I was not working. I was in a rough patch with God.

Since then: I went to Houston, lived in Orlando, and visited New Orleans.
I worked for Disney took two months off, now I work two jobs.
I learned so much about how to love other people.  I learned more about how to be a woman. I got my feelings back. I got over a terrible relationship and I had a wonderful one that I lost. I met tons of people and have applied to five nursing schools. I respect my mother and can remain patient with her. I can fellowship with someone I work with. What's better though is that for once I am not only just excited about other people, but I am MORE enthusiastic about other people than I ever was. than I am about myself. For the first time ever. My heart is so full. I don't really know how else to say it.

Out of really low lows this past year God has brought me to a place of restoration again in community. He is teaching me to trust Him financially. Humbling me in my jobs by giving me opportunities to be loving instead of angry.
This is the upside of addiction. This is the upside of growing closer to God away from yourself.

I am beginning to feel contentment.
God, I am so grateful for where you have taken my life. I do miss someone to share my life with in that special way, but I have given that part of my life to Your capable and faithful hands.
thanks. I want to trust You. Thank you God for Birthdays. for beginnings. It's a brand new year for me. It's a fresh start.

Day 120 wow. didn't even realize. crazy.