Its called "the Noodle"

   I dance all the time at work. I dance all the time. In the shower, putting away my groceries, I dance every where. If I'm not dancing, I'm singing; or I'm doing  both.  My roommates call me Sun drop because of the Sun drop commercial where the girl dances after having a sip of lemon-lime cola.... yeah that's me. I drop it like its hot. I have been dancing at work outside, but Easter was particularly fun. Me and God had beef until recently. I keep holding different things against Him saying : "If You loved me I wouldn't be alone. I'm so lonely here. This is so hard. Why are You doing this to me? If I am supposed to be lonely to follow You, I guess I will just not follow You." So for however many weeks, I slipped more slowly into this mind frame. I needed to be grateful and say " You chose this for my life. You will not give me anything I can't handle. There is no temptation that has ceased me accept that which is common to man. You are on my team. If You are for me who can be against?"

BUT
I chose the former. I felt like I was dying. It's funny how the enemy sets you on the path away from God and you justify staying there because you feel so horrible and blame God for your feelings instead of realizing that you feel like that because you are away from Him in the first place. Just the past few days I have felt better than the past three weeks. THE lifestyle of faith requires that you abandon questions that you dwell on to live in a current moment of comfort to live in statements of truth founded on Christ that you may suffer moments of discomfort for a lifetime of reward.
Here is how I know God is good. In my running from Him he sent THREE people into my life to speak truth in love about the faith to me.

The first was my mother. She ended up pleading with me to remain faithful to God and my commitment to not have sex before marriage and love the Lord. Her determination was frightfully haunting, but I still had a bad attitude about not hearing back from a guy I ended up taking the wrong direction with after a date. The second was a girl at the bus stop. She saw that I had begun reading Crazy Love and told me it was good even if you didn't watch the videos. =) She told me it had been hard for her to get to church and her faith was floundering too. The third was a woman I talked to the first or second week I was here named Leah.
She assured me that making her commitment to save her self for her husband even after her mistakes changed a lot about herself and grew her closer to God. She said "I know that my husband is God's best for me." Wow. That brings tears to my eyes.  I want to get where I know that He Himself is sufficient and the only One I need, but hearing that from her was confirmation that the EX may not be the one, but if Christ is He will give me the desires of my heart.

Lord, be with me in my struggles. Help me hold onto you. Help me remain committed to Your Word and Truth. I need You Jesus to come to my rescue. Where else can I go? I feel like I ruin a lot, but help me to know that You fix everything because you made everything and I just need to be willing. I love You. I want to love You. Help me follow You.
Amen