Come Again?

Can't say I expected God to allow me to be tested that way, but then again I am living in one of THE MOST sexually promiscuous housing complexes in the world. No joke.

It all started with a key.

My key has been getting stuck in my apartment door for the past week. It's just a crappy replication no biggie. Today, however, I couldn't get it out. I worked at the dang ol' thing for 15 minutes, took a break and ate, tried again, nothing. UGH. To my relief my very drunk very attractive neighbors were awake. Let's call the one Carlos and the other neighbor #2. {all of my neighbors are attractive South Americans or Central Americans}
#2 had a girl he was kissing on and Carlos is a really sweet guy who has a lot of pressure back home that he just doesn't know how to handle. Carlos has potential. He's a nice guy, just a little misguided. Well, there is a third one hmm I like Ramone. That's his fake name. Ramone is a steamy beautiful specimen of a man. When he talks you want to pay attention. It doesn't even matter what he is saying, because he is that good-looking. So Carlos and #2 were hanging out with the girl and I get them to come over to get my key out. They do and I am so thrilled I give Carlos that piece of pie that I promised him. At this point I'm not tired, so I hang out and talk a while. Listen really. Then here they come the mob of underage party-girls who are falling all over (you guessed) Ramone. He has like 5 girls and a few guys with him. In a matter of ten minutes all of them clear out and go back to where they belong and fate leaves me and Ramone all by ourselves in the hallway.

I sort of expected him to come on to me because his eyes were red and I have been given 'that look' before, but I didn't expect this.

"Will you give me a blow job?"


SAY WHAT??!?

I have never had someone beg me for one before in my life the way he did in front of my door. 
I almost closed the door on him. He wouldn't take no for an answer. "Please, let's just go to the bathroom no one will know." Then he seized my neck and started kissing me. BELIEVE ME it was nice, but I knew that even though I had attention, this is not who I am. He made his way in and I said fine, if you want to go to the bathroom go ahead. I planned on leaving him in there and going to bed, but I was afraid he'd go and tell everyone that something happened when it didn't. So I went outside and knocked on the other neighbors' door and said I needed their help. "He just started kissing my neck and asking for a blowjob. He's in my bathroom I don't know what to do." As soon as I finished, Ramone walked out of my apartment.

You would think I missed out.
I didn't.
You would think: "Why not you just got dumped and you can get some gratification out of that, too. Right?"
WRONG.
I deserve to be loved. I deserve to be married to have sex through a committed relationship. I want it for myself.

Gone are the days when I wake up ashamed of myself and what I have done. The old me has died.
I experienced the strength and the victory that is in me today through Christ. Wow. Go God!

Galatians 6:14 As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world’s interest in me has also died.